Sometimes at about 2 minutes to midnight,
I notice that I am reading an article about demographic shifts in China
And attempting to predict, using gut-level hunches
the impact of those shifts on the world in 2060
when my 3 year old child will be 12 years older than I am now
and I notice that also, in another window,
I am running a background script
that works to identify the ways
I am not being an effective agent of change
and maximizing my potential impact
on the shape of the world in 40 years
And I realize that this article
On demographic shifts in China
Is only one of many tabs
and that there are tabs on ancient philosophers,
and saints,
and current events
and murderers
and I realize that if I had to describe what I am doing right now to myself
I would probably have to say to myself
That I am gathering information, and laying plans
related to the saving of the world.
And that this is not a reasonable thing to be doing right now.
And may actually impede my ability
to do the few things I have actually already been called to do,
Cardboard Rhino 
I think this really captures the battles we all go through to lead a helpful life and manage our limited capacity. It’s an ongoing battle, but it’s better when we understand the role we were meant to play.
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